Tiki Bark

Our bichon, Tiki sorted the cat world into two groups: those that flinched and you chased, and those that didn't, and you didn't. 

 Traveling in our trailer, we had arranged to visit a couple, but, arriving, found a note on the door.  We would have to wait awhile for their return. Our friends' front yard was  typical: a lawn surrounded by a  low fence. We dropped Tiki, Lord-of-Creation, into it. 

       

He sprinted a couple of circles, then began scouting. Suddenly, his tail snapped up.  His forelegs went stiff.  His head thrust forward. A CAT!  By the garden hose bib indeed, a cat sunned.  Cat looked at dog. Dog glared at cat.  Cat closed its eyes, dozing. What we knew, and Tiki did not, was that Cat lived with five dogs, the smallest of which weighed eighty pounds.  This thing on the lawn weighed twelve. 

The cat didn't blink.  Its tail didn't twitch. It gave Tiki a bored acknowledgment.   Tiki tilted forward and barked. Cat dozed.  Tiki barked again.  Cat dozed.  Tiki paused.  Cat was not following script.

       

Moving halfway across the yard, Tiki reared up and barked some more.  Cat's whiskers didn't so much as twitch.  Tiki peered over his shoulder toward our trailer. Then he moved closer to the cat.  He barked again, but somewhat tentatively.  Cat dozed. 

What do I do now?

Finally, he marched right over to the cat until he stood perhaps six inches away.  Mustering his best junkyard dog stance, he literally screamed at Cat. Cat dozed.  Tiki swiveled his head 180 degrees, as dogs can, until he was looking across the yard to us.  His expression said as plain as words, “What do I do now?”

Muriel's response was probably as crushing as the cat's indifference had been.  She laughed.  At that, Tiki pretended that he had never seen a cat.  He inspected a coil of hoses,  a rose bush a bit farther off, noticed a strange noise in the distance, looked over at Muriel, and, when he saw that she was still laughing, turned his back on her.  For the rest of our visit, Cat didn't exist.

He somewhat made up for his embarrassment later.  When our friends arrived, and we were invited into their living room, our friends brought out their favorite show dog, a gorgeous Samoyed. Tiki glared up at this ninety pound, superbly muscled working dog and barked so viciously, with his teeth bared and snapping we all would have thought the Samoyed was doomed ....  except that Tiki was doing all his histrionics from between Muriel's feet.